Well, I ain't been home for so doggone long
I almost forgot where I come from
Ain't got no money but I still ain't a bum
I'm almost nearly but not quite plumb
A back last summer down by the sea
I seen a pretty girl in
I snapped my fingers, said son of a gun
She's almost nearly but not quite plumb
Some people wonder how I live
Sometimes I pick, sometimes I give
People say I'm a bum
I'm almost nearly but not quite plumb
I met a pretty girl up in Chicago
She said, honey baby, I love you so
She begged me to stay and not act like a bum
I've been almost nearly but not quite plumb
Friends ask me why I don't take a wife
Settle down to a married life
They say it's good as most and it's better than some
I say I'm almost nearly but not quite plumb
Some people wonder how I live
Just the other night out in Tucson
I had a little date with a great big blonde
I took her home, she said didn't we have fun
Hmm, almost nearly but not quite plumb
When it's time for the final date with
Old Saint Pete's at the pearly gate
He'll say I hope you're ready for your time's come
I'll say I'm almost nearly but not quite plumb
Some people wonder how I live