This is your five minute call five minutes ladies and gentlemen thank you Where's my fucking lunch? Oh Shirley, Shirley Valentine I wouldn't be here, dreaming Salutations dear listener This is a comedy in three acts And they better not be late Through the bordello doors Good day at the office wall Your dinner's on the floor darling And scrape me off the ceiling Well I'm a mercenary wife 'cause I sinned in m'past life And you want breakfast, lunch and tea On stage please, on stage, thank you. I know my lines, my moves Well I'm a mercenary wife 'cause I sinned in m'past life And you want breakfast, lunch and tea